Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Friends We Keep

Last week in small group I was led to challenge my teenage girls to search for friends who challenge them to think right, do right and grow spiritually. I asked each of them if they have at least one friend to fit this category and they all agreed, if ever so quietly, they did. The next morning I posted my status on facebook as a "Friend Wanted: someone to challenge me to think right, do right and grow spiritually." I included II Timothy 2:22 "Run after mature righteousness - faith, love, peace - joining those who are in honest and serious prayer before God." (msg.)

Coming from a strong small group which met together for a couple of years, I felt confident that at least 7 people would say, "Yes! I am that friend for you." I cannot express the sadness and disappointment I felt to the responses that I received. One from that small group said she couldn't live up to the standard. At least she responded...none of the others did. I had 3 takers...out of almost 500 facebook friends. One was a friend of a friend for a season during college (20 years ago), one was a parent of my son's friend and the other is a friend in ministry in my hometown. None of the three have ever been part of my spiritual growth to this point, but I truly look forward to the ways my Savior is going to use them to make me more like Him.

The following is a review of the book "The Friends We Keep" by Sarah Zacharias Davis.

"During a particularly painful time in her life, Sarah Zacharias Davis learned how delightful–and wounding–women can be in friendship. She saw how some friendships end badly, others die slow deaths, and how a chance acquaintance can become that enduring friend you need.

The Friends We Keep is Sarah’s thoughtful account of her own story and the stories of other women about navigating friendship. Her revealing discoveries tackle the questions every woman asks:
• Why do we long so for women friends?
• Do we need friends like we need air or food or water?
• What causes cattiness, competition, and co-dependency in too many friendships?
• Why do some friendships last forever and others only a season?
• How do I foster friendship?
• When is it time to let a friend go, and how do I do so?

With heartfelt, intelligent writing, Sarah explores these questions and more with personal stories, cultural references and history, faith, and grace. In the process, she delivers wisdom for navigating the challenges, mysteries, and delights of friendship: why we need friendships with other women, what it means to be safe in relationship, and how to embrace what a friend has to offer, whether meager or generous."

I loved the book. The stories of real women and their relationships with friends is real and I could see myself and friendships I have had in most of the situations. It is an encouraging and inspiring book which helps you search out true friends and how to become one in the process. You can pick up your copy at RandomHouse.com.

The Friends We Keep

2 comments:

JOEandTINA MILLER said...

Sadly, I'm the friend who said I couldn't live up to that standard. I wish I were more of a reliable encourager and prayer warrior. Too often I find myself getting bogged down in lack of faith, negativity, and falling into the temptation to gossip. Your Facebook statement and your blog remind me that my words, actions and friendships need to be seasoned with salt, good and pleasing to the Lord (and not just to my whim of the moment). Thanks for the reminder!

Educator L said...

I wish I could be that friend. I hope that at times I have been that friend. Right now in my current situation, YOU are that friend to me.